Junaid M Wani
A mother nurtures you in her womb for 9 months and this time is not as easy as you think. She undergoes unbearable pain and many other serious complications occur during this phase and then after birth, you know how she cares for you. A father on the other side works hard to earn for his family in one or the other way whether he is a govt. employee or a daily laborer. To serve the families both parents leave no stone unturned and always let children have a beautiful life. But nowadays teens have turned towards ending lives by suicide or indulge in some other activities like drug addiction etc which leaves a drastic agony effect over the family.
A surge in the cases of suicide has been noticed for some years in Kashmir valley and is a matter of serious concern. Mostly teenagers find no solution to a dilemma or any other problem and choose death over facing the situation and this has become a cataclysmic cause for teenage deaths.
When a teen commits suicide, not only the family but everyone is affected and this leaves a scar in the heart of everyone in the society. The reasons behind a suicide or attempted suicide can be complex, but often there are warning signs. In the entire J&K, it has been found that at least one suicide is recorded every alternate day and there is hardly any hamlet or mohalla that has been untouched by more than one incident of suicide attempts.
Nearly 24000 men and women, mostly young, have attempted suicide in the last 17 years in Kashmir. Of them, 3000 have been successful. Shockingly, most of them were between the age of 16 and 25. Quoting psychiatrists, the violence in the valley has devastated the psyche of the Kashmiris and stress-related diseases have grown manifold across the social spectrum, driving the people mostly youngsters increasingly to suicide. This suicide is a social evil and threat to mankind and humanity itself as a whole.
Possible Causes Of Suicide
Mostly teens prefer suicide because they were trying to escape from a situation that seems impossible to deal with or to get relief from really bad thoughts, feelings, or family issues. Some people who end their lives or attempt suicide might be trying to escape feelings of rejection, hurt, or loss, others might feel angry, ashamed, or guilty about something. Some people may be worried about disappointing friends or family members, and some may feel unwanted, unloved victimized, or like they’re a burden to others.
Failures and disappointments lead to depression and some people with depression are not able to find a good outcome and may believe they will never be happy or things will never go right for them again. Depression affects a person’s thoughts in such a way that the person doesn’t see when a problem can overcome and this leads to a full stop on the optimism about depression then depressed people don’t realize that suicide is not a permanent solution to a temporary problem. A teen with depression may feel like there is no way out of problems, no other escape from emotional pain, or no other way to communicate a desperate unhappiness.
Some teens nowadays are addicted to drugs and other substances which can lead to suicide when they will not be able to get it or some other reasons may be there in it. Also, alcohol and some drugs have depressive effects on the brain. In addition to the depression, these can lead to interference in a person’s ability of judgment. They interfere with the ability to assess risk, make good choices, and think of solutions to problems. Also, some teens worry about learning problems or attention problems that make it hard for them to succeed in school. They may feel disappointed in themselves or feel they are disappointed with others.
PUBG game has also resulted in many suicides in the valley. This game controls the mind of teenagers and they get addicted to it.
Sometimes a suicide can happen impulsively, in a moment of feeling desperately upset. Some times what happens, scolding from a parent or guardian leads to suicide. Today our teens have become so sensitive that they are not able to even digest a taunt from their parents and they go for suicide which leaves a drastic effect over the family and becomes a matter of big tragedy for the whole society. If one child tries it, the second one thinks of the same.
Before any suicidal thoughts, you should think of some main issues like what will happen to your family if you did so? how they will overcome this agony and pain?. Instead, you can work hard and do something great for your family, scolds and taunts from parents never mean they don’t like you or you’re a burden over them but these are just the lessons to make you much better than what you are presently.
Some people who attempt suicide mean to die and some aren’t completely sure that they want to die. For some, a suicide attempt is a way to express deep emotional pain. They can’t say how they feel, so, for them, attempting suicide feels like the only way to get their message across. Sadly some who didn’t mean to kill themselves end up dead or critically ill.
Warning Signs
Depressed people or the ones thinking or planning to suicide always show some signs of the suicide attempt. Some are mentioned below:
-they talk about suicide or death in general
-talk about going away or die
-talking about feeling hopeless or feeling guilty
-having no desire to take part in favorite activities or games
-engaging in self-destructive behavior
-having trouble in thinking clearly
-feeling of overburden or dislike from parents
How to overcome?
If you are in depression or in a state where you are on the verge of suicide or you’re thinking of suicide, then please try to get help then and there to overcome it as soon as possible. Talk to your friends, family, and the ones who support you and help you to overcome this problem. Talk to someone you trust as soon as you can. If you can’t talk to your parent, talk to guardians, your favorite cousins or relatives, religious leader, or anyone whom you trust. Talking about your problems with someone may also help you to get out of that problem. Ending life is not an option, think for a while about its pros and cons think about your family.
There is nothing in the world that can defeat you by any means; it is only up to yourself. Life is a precious gift, don’t waste it in suicide and as you all are aware of it that suicide is strictly prohibited is Islam so you’re destroying life after death too and think how you’ll answer in front of Allah.
Try to be around positive influences, take walks, talk to a therapist, go for outings, explore the beauty of nature, it is very difficult to come out of your thoughts and the more depressed you get, the more suicidal you become, talk with buddies who will bring you out of all this, and know that your life is precious for you as well as your family, you are always going to be loved, but you must love yourself, look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are important and you are wanted, write a list of great things you have done, don’t let the negative thoughts break and bring you down, do something for someone and hold your head up, believe in yourself and stay strong, talk about what bothers you most, struggle to live a better life than to end it, tell yourself that you are more important than anyone else.
It is the responsibility of the parents to take care of their children as society is heading towards destruction. Drug addiction has become a normal thing in Kashmir. Mostly teenagers have indulged themselves in such activities that lead to suicidal cases. Moreover, treat your children with love, respect, and equality. Don’t leave them alone, give time to them. Take care of your family as nothing is more important than family.
Life does not end when a door closes. It ends when you stop trying to open them.
ENDING LIFE IS NOT AN OPTION; MAKING LIFE GOOD IS BETTER OPTION.
{ IN THE LOVING MEMORY OF KAMRAN SHAFI R/O KALMOONA KUPWARA WHO COMMITED SUICIDE BY HANGING HIMSELF TO DEATH ON 30 JULY 2020. HE WAS A STUDENT OF CLASS 9TH [16-YEAR-OLD BOY]}
The author is M.Sc. Zoology. You can reach him at junaidmwani110@gmail.com.
